A Travellerspoint blog

back from the (brink of) ruin (09/05/07)

Well hello again. Bored out of my mind at the moment. Actually feeling very rough as i´ve been out on the piss the past 2 days and my body is not best pleased with me. Got into my bed at the hostel at about 8am this morning. Finally got up about 4pm after having what can only be described as a half assed excuse for sleep. Had a pounding headache, mouth was like a badgers arse since my nose was blocked and i had been breathing thru my mouth all night. Was a good night though. Met some really nice people, especially an American girl called Siyal. Spent the previous night dancing around like headcases and just generally having a great time. Don´t know why but people keep trying to teach me to salsa. This would be difficult enough sober but blind drunk it is an invitation to a broken ankle and a pleasant evening in the emergency room.

Anyway i went to Macchu Picchu at the weekend. 5 o´clock in the bastard morning i had to get out of bed - 2 days in a row! Wouldn´t have been so bad if the train to Agua Caliente (the little shanty town near the ruins) was in any way comfortable. Instead what you have is about 18 inches of space between your seat and the one facing you. Trying to get comfortable is like an elaborate game of twister, trying find a space for your legs in between the two people facing you. Meanwhile the train sways and rocks like a one legged, blind drunken hippy chasing a bottle of cider down a hill. Needless to say by the time i got to the aforementioned town i was tired, fed up and my back was fucking killing me. Not good, especially when you consider that the next day i was to wander round a ruin at the top of a mountain over 8000ft up. Admittedly i was getting the bus up but that only takes you to the entrance. You still have endless amounts of steep steps and inclines to haul yourself up.

Luckily i think the exercise helped a little. Got to the ruin about 6.30am and spent about 2 hours taking a guided tour around the ruins. Now when i say a guided tour that is slightly misleading. Instead of a guide what we got was like a cross between Manuel from Faulty Towers and a character from a Monty Python sketch. He didn´t know how high up it was and even if he got that right he couldn´t convert metres and feet. Add to that the fact that he spent the 2 hours rushing everyone around, every now and again his English would lapse into pure comedy (hence the Manuel comparison) and he had some horrible growth/wart type thing at the back of his head. It wouldn´t have been so bad but remember this is a guided tour so we had 2 hours of looking at the back of his wretched head. But i´m not one to complain....

Apart from that the ruins were very impressive, although its not suprising their empire fell - i mean they must have been fucking knackered running up and down mountains all bastard day. Even more impressive was all the little trails they built along the sides of the mountains to link these towns. Went a wee walk along one to the Inca Bridge and fuck me the Incas must have had a head for heights. The trail is no more than 4ft wide and on one side the is a massive drop down the side of the mountain into the cloud forest. I couldn´t help thinking as i was walking along, shuffling closer to the edge to let fat Americans and massive, gaggling groups of Japanese people past, that if you were to fall off know one would ever find you. More importantly no one would have the balls to look.

As for fat Americans (now at this point i should explain i have nothing against Americans or fat people - it just so happens there were quite a few of them around on this particular day) why do so many of think " do you know what i would like to do - climb around a 600 year old ruin at altitude"! I mean for fuck sake most of them get pushed around in wheelchairs shovelling meat down their throats cos they can´t be arsed walking but climbing around a ruin with their walking sticks at 8,000ft is a great idea?!?! I mean good luck to them and everything but i just don´t get the logic and, i must confess, getting stuck behind a couple of them on a massive staircase is not my idea of fun. Not a pleasant view and i couldn´t help but think that if one of them had a heart attack and came rolling back down the stairs i was fucked.

Now on to obnoxious Americans. I don´t want to seem like i am picking on Americans because most of the ones i have met travelling have been great. Again it just so happens that on this day i happened to experience the dickhead side of America. On the way back down the mountain on the bus what happens is that a little Peruvian boy, in Native clothes and in bare feet, about 7 or 8 years old runs down the Inca steps on the side of the mountain ahead of the bus. The bus has to wind down the mountain but it is still no less impressive, when evertime the bus comes round a bend, you are greeted with the sight of the same little guy shouting and waving at the bus. As i mentioned these steps are very steep and, as i neglected to mention, it had just started pissing down with rain. Once you get to the bottom the little head case runs along in front of the bus then the driver lets him on, he sings and shouts things i couldn´t understand, he goes round everyone and we give him change. Nice little racket but the crazy wee bastards deserve it - at least they are actually doing something instead of begging. This is where the aforementioned arsehole Americans come into the story. There was a group of middle aged, bitter old hags on the bus. Well all but one as she had already argued with the ticket lady because she was adamant she had paid for a return ticket but had apparently lost the return part. Being an arrogant, miserable, menopausal old pig she just expected the rest of the world to bend to her every whim. So she got left behind - altogether now - HIP HIP HOORAY! Now on to old hags who had unfortunately managed to hold on to their tickets. When the little guy came round with his change purse we all put in but not these miserable old boots (i would use other words to describe them but my niece might read this). After she had refused she went on about how he has a nice little racket and probably makes more money than the bus driver and that the bus driver must take them back to the top. She then said "I´m not giving him anything cos its just a racket. Now if he ran back UP the mountain that would be impressive"! Fucking miserable cow- The only exercise she probably gets is shovelling HRT pills down her ugly throat to try and fend off the hairy pelt that was forming on her back. This little guy, as i mentioned, had run down a steep, soaking wet staircase faster than the bus could get down. Thats worth 50 cents of anyones money, especially when you consider that the day before one of these little nutters had fallen of the stairs onto his face in front of the bus. It must have fucking hurt and scared the little guy since the bus nearly ran over him but he got up, smiled, waved and ran down the rest of the mountain. Class, but you would think by the way these hags were talking that it was all done with smoke and mirrors. Idiots. Anyway you´ll be glad to hear i´m finished ranting now. Can´t remember what else has been happening at the moment but as soon as i do i will be back (i can feel the baited breath from here). Love ya x.

Posted by george1979 17:54

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